eagleray Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Hi everyone, I'm applying to PA schools this spring to begin in 2016. My wife and I are both 30 years old and are eager to grow our family but I'm concerned that having a baby while in PA school, especially the didactic phase, will be overwhelming. Based on our plan the baby would be about 5-months old when I start my program. My wife is extremely supportive and is prepared to give me "study space". Was anyone a new parent in a PA program? What was it like? Did you find balance or did you struggle with school and parenting? Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max PA17 Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Ask me in two years. :) I start PA school this coming year.. I'm about to embark upon said problem. A month (seriously) before class is my wife's due date, it's our first. Do I envision it being difficult? Well of course! I really don't know what to expect and I know PA school is difficult, no one ever said it was easy. I have a strong support system and I'm determined it will work out okay. It's a good problem to have in my opinion. I also believe ignorance is bliss. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midwestbound Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 It is do-able. I am a Medical student spouse. I don't have kids yet, but I have many friends who are medical students with a wife (and one husband) who stays at home full-time with their kids. Your wife just needs to be flexible and not have high expectations for you to contribute a large amount of time to your baby especially during the academic portion of PA school and more demanding rotations such as surgery. You will still have time to be a parent, it will just come in spurts. If you were the wife in this situation I would advice to wait because the first year of an infant is typically more demanding for the mother. Do what you need to do in order to live your dream to have a family and support them with a great career as a PA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator rev ronin Posted January 17, 2015 Administrator Share Posted January 17, 2015 Are you going to be able to put in ear plugs, ignore your spouse and the crying baby, and sleep--daily if needed? Is your spouse going to be OK with you doing this and never getting up in the middle of the night to help, EVER? If the answer to either one is anything other than an enthusiastic 'yes', I strongly suggest not trying to have kids during PA school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kmpoulsen07 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 My wife and I had our first (and only so far) baby two weeks before finals of my first semester in PA school. She was by no means an easy baby and my wife had complications from labor that made it difficult to get around for a number of weeks after the birth. Luckily we had help at the beginning, but even with all that going on I was able to make time to do all that I needed to do well in my classes. After the infant stage it steadily gets easier. Having a baby definitely adds to the stress but in my experience you adapt and as long as you are able to prioritize the use of your time its definitely doable. Having an understanding a supportive spouse is also important but don't get caught only sacrificing family time for studying. There have been numerous times that I have sacrificed studying to spend time with my daughter and wife and have never regretted it. Also, my daughter just started sleeping through the night (she's 14 months old) and for most of the last year I have gotten up almost every single night to help, so thats possible too. Only you know your capabilities and limits as far as sleep and time-management go. If you need a lot of structured time in order to understand material then having a baby will be difficult. If you don't do well on less sleep than you are currently getting then having a baby will be difficult. Its harder but definitely worth it if you can do it. And in your case you will have 5 months to get used to having a baby before you start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MLMPA Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Just like nearly everyone else on this post has mentioned: I don't have children but I have seen two amazing PA's make it through PA school while having children. Both are mothers, so as someone said it's more demanding and stressful. One of the women had a baby previously to applying to PA school, and once accepted did have another baby during the didactic portion. She did end up decelerating for one year (but she has said time and again that is was 100% worth it). She's now an amazing PA in OBGYN with 3 beautiful kids. It's doable but you have to be willing to put in the effort! Best of luck to you in PA school, and congratulations to possibly starting a family soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsfelder0417 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I am a husband and father, and we had our son 6 weeks into the first semester of PA school. We weren't planning on it, either. We had just gotten off of active duty in South Korea, and moved to Idaho, not knowing anyone in the area. We had our son on a Tuesday, during my mid term week. I was studying during lulls in labor, and only took 1 day off. I didn't sleep much those first few weeks, nor was my studying very effective. There is a state of existence you reach during Army Ranger school known as 'Droning,' where you are not really asleep, and not really awake, you just kind of 'are.' Those first few weeks I was droning a lot. I remember lots of energy drinks, and time blurred between school, the hospital and home. Somehow I still managed to score in the mid 80% for all my mid terms. It got better as I found a groove. I found that if I got to school at 630am, I could study for the hour and a half before class and do pretty well. I studied early in the morning because I couldn't get anything done when I got home, between a wife, a baby, and a dog. After school was their time. It is not easy, but it can be done, and I wouldn't change it now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdpa Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Thought I might be able to provide some insight since I am currently in PA school and started when my son was 6 months old. My family and I moved from San Diego to Atlanta in July of 2014. Let me be clear that it is not easy and it can be very difficult at times but it is very doable under one very important condition. The condition that I am talking about seems to be one you already have covered since you described your spouse as "extremely supportive." My wife takes on most of the parenting, sometimes more than others. It would be absolutely impossible to have a baby without a spouse who can get up most week nights and kick you out of the house to study. It is all about setting reasonable expectations and understand that some weeks it will be like your spouse is an only parent while other weeks you will be a very present parent. This is working great for my family although I could imagine that it would be better if I was not in school. With that said though, there is no perfect time to have a child so don't let PA school stop you from having a child now. My son is actually turning 1 today so I find it ironic that I am answering this post today. Furthermore, I should probably say that the times that I think are a bit much to handle I look over to my classmate who has twins that were 5 months coming into the program and turning 1 next month. He is doing just fine though his life can be a bit more hectic than mine. Of 54 classmates there are about 15 or so of us who have children and we are all doing well. I hope this answers your question and helps you and your family make a decision. Personal message me if you have any particular questions. -K Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max PA17 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Although I'm not the one that started the thread, it's very encouraging to hear success stories. Thank you to those that have replied. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cg02186 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Agreed with the above poster, it's been helpful. I'm in a similar situation. I just started the didactic year two weeks ago and my wife is due at the end of April. It will be our first kid. Thanks to the people who've offered advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMann Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 It can be done. I have three kids, ages 8,6 and 3, and i just started my clinical year. The key is a very supportive spouse as stated earlier. New babies bring a little more stress at first due to the newness, but then you adjust. One thing you need to think about now is that you have a family and that any free time you have will probably need to be spent with them. Forget going out every weekend with all the single folks in the class. Don't put in to be a class officer cause you won't have time. Most importantly, give up the idea of getting A's. This last point will set your mind at ease the most. Study to know the material, but keep in mind you don't need an A like you did to get into PA school. Now if you were a woman asking this question... just don't. Don't get pregnant if you're in PA school. There's enough stress as it is, don't create more. I'm sure there are women you have done it, but I can't imagine many would recommend it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BTillema Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I had a cesarean exactly seven days before the first semester of my didactic year. I am currently only in my second semester, but made it through the first one unscathed I probably wouldn't be in this scenario, but I had some unfortunate circumstances that made my husband and I want to have another child, and it was either before school or after I was done. We decided to go ahead and try for before. I am the only mama in my class with young ones (I also have a kindergartner), but there are several fathers with young children. We all seem to be doing just fine. My husband is a teacher and super supportive. He gives me time to myself when I need it, and is understanding when I just need to leave the house... otherwise I probably wouldn't crack a book until after 9pm, and with a five month old, I am ready for bed at 10! You have to be prepared to sacrifice one for the other at times... but it's only temporary. It's certainly difficult, but if this mama can do it, you can do it too. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bilkisbi Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Hi all, from what I read, the post is for a dad-to-be but I am a mother-to-be. I am 23yrs old and this is my first child. I have been admitted to a PA program in Miami and my husband and I live in Minnesota. He cannot find a job in Miami so the chances that he can relocate are slim. He is very supportive of my decision and is willing to take care of the baby all by himself but I know it will be very difficult for a guy. How difficult will it be to manage the school with my newborn. What are my options if I plan to attend school?Or, should I wait and reapply next year when my baby is a year old, does that hurt my chances of acceptance to the PA program( I was thinking of reapplying to the same program)?Will really appreciate your help/advice in this matter. I am really tensed. Thanks in advance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max PA17 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Is deferring your acceptance and entering in 2016 an option vs. re-applying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bilkisbi Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 They are saying the college does not provide deferrals, I would have to re-apply :`( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max PA17 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Definitely a tough choice.. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acebecker Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Had two children when I started the on-campus portion of PA school. My first was 3 and a half, the second was 6 weeks old when I left... For 6 wks. I missed a lot of my second baby's firsts. My wife was a single parent for those 6 wks. We came back together for the rest of school, but there were times when I was gone for whole weeks at a time. It was tough, sad. I'm still bummed that I missed out on those parts of my daughter's life. Thing is, we have a great relationship, she doesn't remember any of it, and I can provide well for my family. So it was the hardest thing I had to do, but I'd do it again for them. Those two years were the hardest of our lives. My wife was awesome, totally 100% committed, and we rarely had arguments about how much time I gave to school and how little to my family. I'm still trying to make up for it. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taotaox1 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Can you do it? Sure, people on this thread are proof. Will you be able to give pa school the 99% attention it deserves. Unlikely. Nor will you be able to be the supporting husband you likely want to be. Both of your roles will suffer (though not necessarily irreparably as people in this forum can attest). You are choosing to invest a ton of money, blood, sweat, and time to do this. You should do yourself a favor and wait until at least 2nd year when you will have at least 5x as much free time many months. It is also a lot easier to ask for a month off and just push back graduation a month if need be. Not possible during didactics. This will allow you to be a present dad and a present student. This is just my bs opinion and i did not have a kid during school, but i think you would be wise to at least wait until second year since you have the option. Good luck and congrats on acceptance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amela Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I started PA school when my first child was 2. I also planed to have a second child just after I finished PA school. I was pregnant in my second year and had my daughter one month after I graduated. I studied for boards when she was asleep (thank god newborns sleep a lot during the day). It worked out fine. Without my husband support I couldn't have done it. I have no regrets. And I did very well with my grades. The only thing I missed is spending time with my first born, but I made it up to him. It is possible to do it. I would rather do it with a small child than with bigger one; when they start to go for sports or whatever classes. My son doesn't remember that I was busy studying since he was too small. I also waited about 10 months to start my first job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dynamo24 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Are you going to be able to put in ear plugs, ignore your spouse and the crying baby, and sleep--daily if needed? Is your spouse going to be OK with you doing this and never getting up in the middle of the night to help, EVER? If the answer to either one is anything other than an enthusiastic 'yes', I strongly suggest not trying to have kids during PA school. I think this is doom and gloom talk. You can be a husband and a father and still be in PA school. I have first hand experience and have done all of these things you are mentioning and I am doing just fine. The big sacrifice is social life. I never go out, I am at home or at school or at church and that it is it. I don't care because its a short period of time with great results at the end. If the OP is going to be in state and he has a strong family support system, he has it made. I don't have a strong family support system and again...doing just fine. Rev ronin is a great source of information but take this with a heavy grain of salt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thesquirell3 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 I am 8 months into the didactic phase and have a 2 year old son. It gives my wife something to do besides bug me while I am trying to study. I have noise canceling headphones that I hardly use and if it ever gets too loud I can study at the library. I love it. Having a family in PA school is awesome. We are actually planning on having another during rotations. My buddy started this program with an 18 month old daughter... 3 months into the didactic phase had twins. He doesn't regret it at all. We both have strong GPA's and don't get behind in our studies. It just all works out. If you want a family go for it. Your wife is 30 and it is a good time to have a kid. Look for Mommy groups once you get situated in your new area. Good way for your wife to spend time and make friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ampas16 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Hi all, from what I read, the post is for a dad-to-be but I am a mother-to-be. I am 23yrs old and this is my first child. I have been admitted to a PA program in Miami and my husband and I live in Minnesota. He cannot find a job in Miami so the chances that he can relocate are slim. He is very supportive of my decision and is willing to take care of the baby all by himself but I know it will be very difficult for a guy. How difficult will it be to manage the school with my newborn. What are my options if I plan to attend school? Or, should I wait and reapply next year when my baby is a year old, does that hurt my chances of acceptance to the PA program( I was thinking of reapplying to the same program)? Will really appreciate your help/advice in this matter. I am really tensed. Thanks in advance. I think you're talking about moving to Miami with your newborn without your husband so I'm going to create my response around that. I began my program this past summer with a 5 month old and a 5 year old. My husband works from home, so he was able to relocate with us and has taken on the role of primary caregiver while still working. I never thought this program would be easy, but I severely underestimated how intense it would actually be. I can say with certainty that it would be impossible with out what he does for our family. Finding a balance between home and school is difficult. It was In comparison to my study group, I maybe get in 10% of the amount of study time they do. Socialization with my classmates is a rarity. I know how much work it takes to get an acceptance and I can imagine how difficult it would be to turn it down. Despite my experiences thus far, I personally would attend no matter what obstacle was presented. There is no guarantee that the opportunity to become a PA will arise again. A strong support system is essential. I recommend that you try EVERYTHING you can to have your husband move with you, even if it means taking a pay cut. Housing in Miami alone is expensive, never mind managing two households. If money isn't an issue for you, and your husband stays in Minnesota, hiring flexible childcare is a must. Of course every program is different, but my schedule changes regularly last minute, and the person watching your baby will need to be flexible. With me, it wouldn't be unusual to call my husband at 2:00 to tell him my resident arranged a patient for me to see that evening after class. To the OP, there are a number of guys in my class with children/infants, and they're all doing really well. Maybe some would disagree, but I think being a male with children is different than being a female with children, especially a newborn/infant. As long as you are open with your wife about the demands of the program, and help out when you're able, you should be fine. I do find that it's best if I study at the library rather than at home. My husband seems to get frustrated when I'm at home and not helping. Much less frustration when I just come home later in the evening. Good luck to you all! If anyone has any additional questions, feel free to send me a message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMann Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 ^^ What she said... all of it is true. Don't make it harder than it will be anyway by splitting up your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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