Please look at my Personal Statement, its rough and needs work!

[rostekspu]

Walking into the examination room with my first patient at the homeless youth clinic, I remained confident and composed. As the patient started listing his past and present health history, I became confused. The patient was transgender and was currently taking hormones for the current stage of their treatment. I had never discussed these treatment plans with patients nor had I been exposed to transgender patients in the primary care setting. I felt helpless and felt I was no longer of help to the patient’s needs. Leaving the room feeling confused, helpless, and frustrated, as I was eager to learn more about the administration and affects of the treatment. By understanding more fully the complexities and variations of complaints that these patients present with, I have become motivated to work with them more closely to better interpret and recognize their needs.

Following my undergraduate studies at Seattle Pacific University, I desired a challenge and began researching the PA profession. I struggled in my undergraduate coursework due to a lack of confidence, poor study habits, and social distractions. With the difficult task of self-reflection and self-evaluation, I knew I could retain my confidence by continuing my education in health science coursework. My poor academic performances were remediated by retaking science courses and enrolling in a molecular biological sciences certificate. In my research, I found that it was essential to obtain direct patient care, so I took a job as an emergency room technician. The ER presented a steep challenge, but I met that challenge and my exposure to acute emergency care evolved by taking a job at a level one-trauma center. I volunteered myself every chance I could to learn a new technique, illness, or invasive intervention, gaining invaluable insight whether it was from a fellow technician, nurse, mid-level provider, or physician and I became better rounded because of this. In being exposed to many facets of specialized medicine in the emergency room, I found that the amount of patient interaction and continuity of care with patients that was lacking.

It was my volunteer work at the Homeless Youth Clinic in Seattle, WA that I established a continuous caring relationship with patients and provided me exceptional life lessons. Every patient presents with varying needs and it is essential to them to have these needs met. Transgender patients make up almost half of the homeless youth population in Seattle and are subjected to alcohol and drug abuse, as well as physical and sexual violence. I especially became passionate for the transgender patients after hearing their stories of being excommunicated from their families as well as social groups because of their orientation. Also, it was especially concerning when I found out that the majority of these patients had not seen a healthcare provider in many years. This is where I felt that I could make the biggest impact: become a better listener, companion, and support network to best fulfill their basic needs. Although I am extremely passionate towards the transgender patients at the youth clinic, I treat all youth clinic patients alike. The physician assistant, Mark, in charge of the youth clinic provides a great example to all levels of providers, myself especially. His professional, intelligent, and empathetic demeanor provides patients the comfort and acceptance to reveal all of their healthcare needs. In observing the PA sharing his medical knowledge and educational experiences with his patients, I wanted to become a physician assistant myself.

Amidst the gratitude, strength, self-effacing affect I gained from working in the youth clinic, I felt that something was missing. I admired the youth clinic Physician Assistant and I took the opportunity to shadow him in the adult homeless clinic. In being the medical director of the youth and adult clinics, the PA essentially practiced on his own, but not without knowing his limitations. It was on a busy evening with multiple patients still to be seen, when the PA went missing for a brief period of time, further discovering that he had contacted the attending physician as a resource to aid in his diagnosis and treatment plan for a complicated patient. With the PA displaying the ability to examine, assess, diagnose, and create a treatment plan collaboratively as well as effectively do so as the sole provider, I began to strive for this myself. It was working with this PA that I first saw the competence, resourcefulness, and intelligence that PAs must encompass in order to be successful providers. By collaborating with the PA alongside the other health care providers, I find the primary care clinic setting to be a continuum of learning and I have gained a wealth of knowledge from it. For the first time in my life, I saw my calling in life and obtaining a PA education would bring this to fruition.

            My life, remediated coursework, volunteer work, and understanding the delicate balance between primary care and specialized medicine has prepared for rigors of PA education. In conceptualizing these goals, I will continue reshape myself through serving the underrepresented and marginalized patient populations, gleaning the insights from PA preceptors and mentors, and continue to learn from all levels of providers in order to play the pivotal and indispensable role in the healthcare team as a PA.

[Jack_Sheridan]

This needs editing! I like you enthusiasm in writing but I think you have to be more direct and clear. Generally, verbosity is not accepted in personal statements. 

[Boydh]

Just a note on talking about the trans* community. Trans* is not an orientation. Transgender refers to someone's gender identity, which is separate from someone's sexual orientation. So I would trade out orientation for gender identity in the sentence: "I especially became passionate for the transgender patients after hearing their stories of being excommunicated from their families as well as social groups because of their orientation." 

But some great content here for sure, I agree some editing for grammar and wording would be helpful. Overall your passion for working with marginalized communities is admirable! 

[stephenpac]

I really like your opening and the topic which you have chosen to tackle. Having read 100's of essays, it was refreshing for sure. Does need to be tightened up a bit and I will echo what the other commentator's said, you can edit out some of the verbosity. But all in all, very good and very original!

 

- Stephen