Rough Draft for a second time applicant. Any and all opinions welcome

[fakhan]

The day I realized I wanted to be a physician assistant was the day I was diagnosed with diabetes. It was a cold October morning when I arrived at the doctor's office. As I anxiously waited, I kept running through my symptoms-fatigue, sudden weight loss, thirst, and frequent trips to the bathroom-while fearing what I knew they could mean. Soon a woman in a white coat walked in, “Hi, I’m Ann, how can I help you today Mr. Khan?” She reviewed my medical history and performed a physical exam, all the while gently putting my racing mind at ease. On her way out she mentioned that a nurse would be in shortly to take some samples and that the doctor wouldn’t be too far behind. Confused, I asked her “Aren't you the doctor?” She smiled, “No, I’m the physician assistant.” She must have caught the inquisitive look on my face because, to my amazement, she proceeded to sit down and answer any and all questions I had about PA's.

 

By the time we had finished talking, the doctor was just walking in the door. As he sat down I saw the somber look on his face, confirming my fears: I had type II diabetes. Though I found him to be a caring physician, his time with me was rather short and he left me with more than a few questions, explaining that Ann would be back to help. This didn't upset me however, since being from a small town I had seen it all before: under-served populations and overworked physicians. In fact, this lack of healthcare professionals in rural areas is one of the main reasons I want to work in medicine.

 

Later that night, while researching information on PA's, I learned how they work as a team with doctors to help spread healthcare to under-served areas on an unparalleled scale. I also learned that this unique teamwork, and the training that PA's receive, allow them to work in most any healthcare specialty. This ability to provide high quality and diverse healthcare to small rural communities, such as my own, convinced me that becoming a PA was how I would fulfill my dream of working in medicine.

 

Driven by this new passion, I worked hard and maintained an upward trend in my grades, excelled in my prerequisite courses, and graduated with honors. I also dedicated myself to service organizations where I learned invaluable leadership skills and was able to fulfill my desire to help those in need. One such organization, that I proudly helped start, worked to provide the many victims of the 2010 Pakistan flood disaster with food and basic medical supplies.

 

While volunteering and working hard in school, I also began working as a medical assistant in a local free clinic to gain more first-hand healthcare experience. Working in the clinic, I not only learned essential medical skills, like taking vitals, but also a valuable lesson in the importance of teamwork in medicine. One day, a fellow medical assistant and I recognized a hypoglycemic patient. We quickly escalated our concern to the nurses and physician staffing the clinic, allowing for timely intervention. That moment, I realized that caring for a patient was not an individual effort on the part of a single doctor or PA but the work of an entire healthcare team.

 

Alongside working at the clinic I also began shadowing Robert, a PA at my university’s medical campus, to gain a more in-depth perspective on my future career. In Robert I found a role model for what a PA should strive to be. He was as dedicated to his patients as he was compassionate, often working late to go above and beyond for them. I remember one of his most challenging patients, an HIV-positive woman who had undergone extensive surgical resection of mouth cancer that had left much of her face permanently altered. His sensitive and empathetic demeanor, overlying a deep understanding of her condition and a drive to maximize her quality of life, only further stoked my passion. Bob not only gave me a better understanding of PA's but also a blueprint on how to become a great one.

 

Ever since that fateful meeting with Ann, I have been on a journey wrought with difficulties but I have risen to the challenge every time. I faced disappointment as a first time applicant but in doing so I learned the importance of perseverance in the face of hardship. Taking the lessons I learned from my first application cycle I began working even harder to strengthen myself as an applicant. I furthered my commitment to serving underserved populations by volunteering as a medical assistant in a local homeless clinic. I began increasing my experience in all aspects of medicine by shadowing a family practice physician assistant and working as an optometry assistant. I also gained invaluable life experience by simultaneously working a full time and part time job. Getting to this point has not been easy but my experiences along the way have steeled my resolve. I know that with the knowledge and experience I have gained, I am ready to take the next big step in my journey and become a PA student.

[fakhan]

Anyone viewing this, I would really appreciate any and all comments on my PS as well as any opinions you may have. Thanks!

[mlsclm]

I like this PS a lot. Having not written one myself, I don't know that I can offer any real advice, but you offer real experiences that explain your desire to be a PA, and your narrative is eloquent. Have you sought feedback from the schools who denied your app about what would have changed their mind?

[fakhan]

Thanks for the vote of confidence and encouragement. Yes I did, and most really liked my essay, the main problems they had was my lack of hce and my slightly lower gpa and the fact that I applied rather late in the cycle last time around. This time I am applying much earlier and have worked on getting more HCE so hopefully this time around I will be much more successful. I got a couple of interviews last time around so I am feeling much more positive about this cycle.

[fakhan]

Still looking for some feedback. I would appreciate any insight I could get. 

[realtreky]

I really like it. The only thing I would change is where you referred the pa you shadowed to Bob. I would keep it consistent can call him Robert through out even though it common knowledge that Bob is Robert. That is not a big deal though. Overall your narrative is great.

[fakhan]

Thank you so much for the vote of confidence and I took your suggestion, I think you are right in that.

[Jack_Sheridan]

I like this personal statement..good start and length. Just for improvement, check it more than 5 times for removing the little grammatical errors and try to be a bit more direct. BTW, you did a great job :)

[JohnnyM2]

Very nicely done!

 

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