sharesmiles Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Submitted essays. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharesmiles Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 Submitted CASPA. thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiggySRNA Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Hello (= From just skimming your personal statement, it seemed rush (didn't even bother reading the supplement). I understand that you're not a proficient writer but that shouldn't be an excuse. You must be proactive and seek out anyone who can proofread it. The second paragraph is way too long. I apologize if I sound harsh. I can offer a few tips to get you started: Blue (original) Red (edit) On a humid afternoon in Vietnam, my grandfather was found unconsciously on the farm field. It took hours on a three-wheels-scooter to transport him to the nearest local single story hospital, 16 patients per 20m2 room, further delay care for medical care of his acute stroke.One afternoon in Vietnam, my grandfather was found unconscious on our family's farm. It took a few hours traveling via a three-wheeled scooter to the nearest local hospital. The single story building housed 16 patients per room which obviously delays medical treatment. Later that day, it was declared he had suffered an acute stroke. Arrived in America, my mother and I struggled alone in XYZ City after my father took off with him all the assets and money (from selling family’s ducks & rice farm prior to departing Vietnam). Unfortunately, after my parents and I moved to America, my father soon left us and took our assets. We had no money because we sold our family's rice farm and ducks prior to departing Vietnam. Returned in States, I searched about society disparity; to my surprise, disparity is also a huge problem within the United States. Aside from working full-time while attending school toward a degree, I took opportunities and experiences from participate community services activities within small student clubs, to be an patient assistant volunteer in community clinics, to be a screened volunteer in hospitals. Returning to the US, I began researching the causes of social disparities. To my surprise, such discrepancy was not only internationally, but also affecting us here on a large scale. With a new interest in community service, I became a part of numerous community service projects in addition to working full-time. I became a patient assistant volunteer as part of a community clinic and then moved onto being a screening volunteer. The point I'm trying to make here is that, you must be proactive in what you're putting out there for others to read, especially Adcoms - they will be the one to decide whether you're worthy enough. I understand where you're coming from but try seeking out friends who know you on a personal level to help you to edit this. Also, how did you manage to receive a supplement application without submitting your personal statement via caspa? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G. Davenport Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 I worked with underserved/low-income/underinsured patients in clinics for 7 years, nursing homes/hospices for 1 year, home health aid on/off for 5 years, unpaid and paid social/medical interpreter for 5 years. Too many special, traumatic, dramatic events to write for my personal statement. I want to continue to work with underserved [as a PA] Why not just say this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharesmiles Posted August 25, 2014 Author Share Posted August 25, 2014 Thanks umbPA & GDavenport, I truly don't know anyone to help me proofreading the essays. The writing/tutor center at local community colleges are closed during Summer Quarter. Friends, co-workers or clients I served are LEP. I even helped them with paperwork/reading mails. I'm in a situation where I'm the king in the land of the blind. In the meantime, I'm waiting for some feedback and potential help from a couple providers I worked with (thought it will takes time as they are overwhelmed with new patients' load ACA on top of the underserveds they seen). I'm going to meet a private proofreader early September. For the time being, I appreciated the free opinions here. Thanks again & best regards. PS: there's supplement application jointly due with CASPA required for PA program that I wanted to apply. I addressed my supplement narrative based on their posted questions on their public website. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiggySRNA Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 PS: there's supplement application jointly due with CASPA required for PA program that I wanted to apply. I addressed my supplement narrative based on their posted questions on their public website. Oh okay I see I see. Well good luck with the rest :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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