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So this is what I have so far...any ideas or edits? I take constructive criticism well. 

 

I have had many life experiences in my life thus far. My father passed away from lung cancer when I was four years old. I then lost my mother also to lung cancer when I was eight years old. Being orphaned young made me very independent. It also made me want to help others. Years after my parents passed, I found a newspaper article entitled “EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) family on the job.” I hadn’t previously known that both of my parents were EMTs. There were nights that they would both be woken from sleep, and they would have to take off to help people, leaving our grandmother to care for us. They sacrificed a lot to be able to help people. I want to be able to carry on their legacy, and help people as well.

Another thing that shaped me into the caring person I am, was being with my grandmother as she passed away my freshman year. At that point, I was her closest relation. I had to struggle with whether or not to leave school once she slipped into a coma, as I lived several hours away, and the semester had just started. Some people told me not to bother, that she didn’t even know I was there. In the end though, I decided I didn’t want her to be alone. I sat with her about week, alongside planning the funeral and other matters. Being with her as she passed was the hardest moment in my life, but I believe it made me a stronger person. I wanted even more to help people as the hospital personnel were helping my grandmother. Though this occurred at a hospital where they had many other patients, the doctors, mid-levels, nurses, and certified nurse’s aides (CNAs) all made me feel like my grandmother was the most important person. I want to be able to do that for others.

This experience  lead me to get my CNA and start working in a nursing home. That has been a great experience for me. I love going to work and helping my residents. I feel like I am actually making a difference, in a way that I couldn’t in working my retail job. I started out working in our memory support center, which was both difficult and rewarding. For example, we have one resident that doesn’t like new people working there. She didn’t allow me to help her for three months. But then after that, one night she decided that I was okay. She allowed me to help her, and has every day following. We are now at the point where she prefers for me to assist her if I am there. We recently remodeled, and everyone was worried as to how she would adjust to having a new room, since she has dementia. I went with her alone in there, and spent an hour showing her every object and telling her that they were all hers. She had no problems going to sleep at all. This was a rewarding experience.

Another way that I have been able to help people is though mission trips. Recently I went on a global health trip to Belize. We taught children about health and hygiene. We taught women about doing self-breast exams, and answered their questions. My group also helped with a one day clinic in a village. Some of the villagers had never seen a doctor before, which was a new concept to me. My Spanish speaking skills came in very handy. I would write down their information, and ask what was wrong with them.

I hope to also be able to use my Spanish in my career as a physician’s assistant (PA.)  My goal has always been to help people, and I knew I wanted to go far in school, as I have always loved learning. It wasn’t until I started undergrad that I realized that the PA profession was the right fit for me. Previously, I hadn’t known specifically what I had wanted to do. Becoming a PA would fulfill my dreams of being able to help people, while using my gift of loving learning. It also allows me to begin helping people earlier than other professions. I love that PAs collaborate and work with doctors, nurses, and other medical professionals. I learned as my work as a CNA that teamwork is very important in patient care. The better medical professionals can work together, the better patient care is. I want to have confidence in my work, but I also want that collaboration on more difficult cases. That is part of why I have chosen PA over nurse practitioner (NP). I have worked with nurses for over a year now, and some of them are going back for their practitionership. I want to be able to work in my field soon, to be in the field helping people. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Overall good personal statement and it put your character into perspective with the stories.  

Try to organize the PS Better. For example try to break up the story how you stepped into medicine/your grandmother passing into one paragraph and your experiences as a CNA into another paragraph.

 

the conclusion starts with "I hope to be able my spanish in my career" maybe state this elsewhere like in you work experience. something among these lines " As a CNA I learned a lot of skills that will make me a stronger PA. Another attribute that would make me a Strong PA is my multicultural and spanish speaking background. I understand what patients feel like struggling with language barriers and have an additional skill to address this. 

 

Consider cutting back on "helping people" You can help people by being a lawyer or a bus driver ect.  maybe say something like i enjoy caring for people. you can finish the PS with something like " I want to be in the field as a PA giving them Compassionate medical care". I want to give back to my patients because I understand what it means to have healthcare workers put their heart into my grandmothers medical needs".

 

this is not  a good sentence  "while using my gift of loving learning"  try to restructure it somehow. 

 

 

 "That is part of why I have chosen PA over nurse practitioner (NP). I have worked with nurses for over a year now, and some of them are going back for their practitionership"

 

​I would leave out the Np and working with nurses thing. Just state "this is why I decided to pursue a career as a PA".  your point about why not NP was not strong  since Np are also mid level providers that can work for an MD to have the support for complex cases, and you shouldn't waste time explaining why not other fields. 

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