Firefighter turned PA Personal Statement

[pool0202@gmail.com]

Love to hear some opinions on my personal essay. Im sure there are some grammatical errors as this is first draft. More interested in flow, content, readability, does opening hook you to read more? All advice and input is welcome. Thanks

 

It’s 3 am I wake up to bright lights and a strangers loud voice. “Medical Emergency Engine 2” being a rookie it took me a bit to shake off the sluggish feeling before I realized the address was the a low income housing area common place for medical emergencies in our district. In my first 2 months we had 11 medical calls to this location alone, including 3 codes, 2 overdoses, and a plethora of events I never imagined witnessing. We all hop to our feet and fire up the Engine with the dispatch notes showing stomach pains and shortness of breath. We arrive to find a 41 year old female in the tripod position, extremely diaphoretic, chief complaint of tearing abdominal pain. The ambulance arrived soon after our SAMPLE history and vitals had been taken. Blood pressure 196 over 100, Pulse 122, pains radiating into lower back, history of smoking and COPD. We had just covered the Abdominal Emergency chapter in EMT class, it felt as though the text book jumped up and smacked me on the head falling open to the Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm page. This was the exact signs and symptoms I had studied only days before. As soon as we got her situated on the cot I was placing the final strap under her arms when suddenly she let out an excruciating moan, her eyes went white and body limp. The paramedic asked me to check the carotid for a pulse, she had none. Time raced by as we all leapt into action dropping the gurney to the ground immediately beginning chest compressions and rotating controlling breathing. This cycle continued all the way to the hospital. I never found out the fate of our patient but I couldn’t help but wonder if she had proper preventative care. While working in EMS has numerous rewards I find myself continually yearning for more ways to affect positive change in the health and well being for the community as a proactive not reactive force in the medical field.

 

I was first drawn to the medical field when my father endured a tough year. Early 2003 he had a triple bypass and aortic valve titanium replacement. As serious a situation this was I couldn't help but give him a hard time about sounding like the bionic man, heart clicking about. Right as he was beginning to become his old self a mass was found on a CT scan in his duodenum leading the local specialist to diagnose it as a rare disorder called Amyloidosis of which the outlook was grim. He was referred to the Mayo Clinic for a battery of test. I remember being so scared for my father and praying for healing. The doctor said that the three months between scans interestingly enough showed a miraculous remission. The doctor had seen thousands of Primary type Amyloidosis being the leading specialist at the time, but had never seen one go into a state of remission as my fathers had. This impacted me deeply at that young age, creating a passion to serve in the medical field.

 

When I first viewed the recommended hours of paid experience I thought it was another road block to overcome on my way to the PA program. If only I could slap some sense into my younger College freshman self. My attention turned to the Springfield Fire Department, knowing EMT was a part of their intensive training. It showed how much passion and love we can give our community, small things like gathering the patients belongings, helping rescuing a cat, yes I actually saved the stereotypical cat from a tree. Just getting into academy took 9 months of preparation, including written and physical testing, multiple rounds of interviews, in depth CIA level background checks. All leading up the most challenging accomplishment to date, Springfield Fire Academy. Mixing a pseudo military regiment of physical fitness, all day didactic classroom learning with practical skills thrown in intermittently. It was described to me as putting 5 years of on the job firemen training into a 8 month academy. This being interlaced with EMT class at nights from 6-10 and thriving online business taking up the rest of my free time that was not dedicated to studying. This prepared me to become a top student in overwhelmingly foreign material and study load I could not of imagined. Instilled was 5 core values of the Department, professionalism, integrity, compassion, service, and valor of which I will never forget for they provide a framework into every aspect of my life.

I never imagined being in some of the situations EMS care provided, the thrill of diagnosing the next patient and meeting new people. I am passionate about the PA profession and plan to use this passion as my driving force to work hard before, during and after the PA program. My journey has built character, determination, team attitude, ethical fortitude, and above all else a desire to effect positive change in the under served community where I grew up. All I ask is for an opportunity to interview to show more of why I will be a top candidate not only for your PA program but also a fellow PA.

[jgaboria]

I really enjoyed your opening paragraph - I work in the ED so I can totally relate to what you experience when you are first called to a scene.

 

There are some grammatical errors and sentence structure problems throughout the essay but overall it is a good rough draft. My only other comment would be to include more about your desire to become a PA - maybe tie in your experience with the patient and WHY you want to become a PA :)

 

Good luck!!

[Pacsean]

Hey Pool0202

 

I too am a paid FF turned PA so I thought I would try and help a brother/sister out. I like your submission. For the most part well written, I'm sure your 2nd, 3rd versions will be even more fluid. I just want to offer my thoughts and I hope it helps. My only negative impression is that you still sound very "Green". I am sure you are very good a EMS but PA programs are very competitive and you need to come across as being prepared to go to the next level. For example, you can assume your reader knows what Amyloidosis is. Also don't say "Doctor", use "specialist" or "oncologist" or "rheumatologist", whatever. Finally, down play your EMT training and instead change to "emergency medicine". This seems minor but you will be competing against Paramedics and you want your reader to know you were also making medical decisions and not just "gathering patients belongings". Just my humble opinion. Stay Safe and good luck!

[Deanj59]

I enjoyed your personal statement. You have a good way of painting a picture in the reader's mind, which is not always easy to do. I would agree with the previous statements that the grammar needs to be fixed throughout. In addition, I would downplay the medical jargon and details. You are submitting this statement to a group of medical professionals, all of whom expect you to have (for most programs) experience within the medical field. My view would be to expand on why PA is route you want to go above all others. Finally, you didn't mention very much about your academic achievements. If this isn't the strongest part of your overall application what challenges or obstacles have you come across and how have you dealt with them? Good luck on the application!!

[Blue Goose]

Why do you want to be a PA [and not a nurse/physician/paramedic/sonographer/etc.]?  I think you need to focus your PS around the answer to that question. 

[CSCH]

There's a lot of fluff in here that probably didn't feel like fluff when you wrote it. The fact is, you're writing for the benefit of medical professionals, and they already know all the terminology and won't be impressed. What they don't know about is YOU. Why will YOU be a good PA? Why do YOU want to be a PA and not something else? What will sustain YOU through the challenging process? Because right now, one of my major impressions from this essay is, "This person is really stoked about being an EMT. Why is he/she changing fields?"

[rachiehayes]

i like the opening, it grabs my attention. I would add why you want to become a PA, specifically. Overall its good! 

[cmconrad99]

Almost two years now since original post. Any updates.

 

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