Help with Essay! I will be re-applying and want to make sure I have a strong essay!

[TFeldman]

Growing up, the million-dollar question always came up: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" As a boy I can remember answering, "Super man!" as I proudly ran around my classroom in my red cape. As I grew up many other professions crossed my mind: an astronaut, a fighter pilot and a professional football player. It wasn't until college that I realized the meaning of this question we were all asked so many times growing up. It isn't what we want to be when we grow up, but rather who we want to be. I want to be someone who cares and provides excellent medicine to those in need. Several life experiences have motivated me to pursue a career as a physician assistant. I have a strong desire for knowledge, a profound ability to think critically, a fascination with medicine, and a need to improve the lives of others in a tangible manner.

I have always been fascinated by the science of the human body. Early in my college education I struggled with which direction I wanted to head in my pursuit into the medical field. In my sophomore year I decided I wanted to become a physical therapist. I would major in Exercise Physiology to expand my knowledge of the musculoskeletal and cardiopulmonary systems. As I began my major-specific courses in my junior year I was convinced that this was the right path for me. However, my interests began to shift when I attained a job working as a physical therapist technician. Initially I was fascinated working in physical therapy. I was working side-by-side with great physical therapists who taught me all about the musculoskeletal and nervous systems, as well as common injuries and different rehabilitative techniques. I also had the opportunity to work directly with patients. On a daily basis I worked one-on-one with patients exercising them through their rehabilitative program. I was responsible for such tasks as: manual stretching, massage, and administering ultrasounds. I loved working with patients; getting to know about their families, hobbies, and professions: They became more than just patients to me. It was my goal to have them enjoy and learn from their physical therapy experience. Ideally, at the end of treatment, they would understand how their injury was caused, and how it could be avoided in the future through proper lifestyle changes.

While I enjoyed working in physical therapy I often found myself looking for something more. I became bored with just learning about physical therapy rehabilitation, I wanted a deeper understanding of how the body worked. I was constantly asking questions that were outside the scope of practice of a physical therapist. When a new patient came in, I found myself searching through their medical history, curious to know what previous medical conditions they experienced and how they may be connected to their current condition. I researched medications to understand how they interacted with one another. I became less interested in the rehabilitation, and more interested in medicine. This began my search for a career that matched these new interests.

I don't recall the first time I heard about the physician assistant profession, but I do remember the first time where I was truly amazed by the depth of knowledge and wisdom of a physician assistant. My father had recently been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Fortunately, his early diagnosis caught the cancer before it spread to other vital organs. The oncologist felt that my father's best chance of beating cancer was to undergo a pancreaticoduodenectomy, also called the "Whipple procedure," followed by six months of chemotherapy. The Whipple procedure is a major surgical operation that involves removal of the gallbladder, head of the pancreas, the distal segment of the stomach, and part of the duodenum. After my father's complex surgery a Physician Assistant came into his room to complete his post-operative rounds. Naturally, my family had countless questions to ask him. The Physician Assistant went above and beyond to answer all of our questions. He explained everything in simplistic terms, informed us of all of the side effects of the surgery, and what to expect throughout the healing process. I admired his seemingly vast knowledge, integrity, and profound ability to tend to our family's needs.

The physician assistant profession appeals to me in a variety of ways. The always-challenging field of medicine will allocate my passion for knowledge and thinking critically. The constant patient interaction will give me the opportunity to provide excellent care and make a difference in the lives of others.  Growing up I did not know what I wanted to be, but now I am certain that who I want to become is a physician assistant.

[redrider]

Your first sentence sounds a little funky. Maybe reword it.

 

" I also had the opportunity to work directly with patients. On a daily basis I worked one-on-one with patients exercising them through their rehabilitative program."  These 2 sentences are pretty much saying the same thing twice. I would delete the first one.

 

You capitalize "Physician Assistant" in some spots.  This should not be capitalized.  You also use "physician assistant" a lot in the fourth paragraph. Consider saying "clinician" instead or something similar for some of them (maybe the 4th "physician assistant" you use).

 

Your narrative looks really good! Kept me interested throughout the whole thing.  Great Job!!!